After not seeing her for a hot minute, Caroline randomly texted me to meet her and her beau and some friends at a bar right down the street from my house. I was super excited to see her and meet her dude, so I met up for beers and debauchery. Caroline has always been one to want to see me have a happy love life, and didn’t hesitate to introduce me to one of her boyfriend’s friends. I had been lured in for a set up!!! Those rascals.
To my surprise, the dude, L, wasn’t a complete troll – he was actually a really nice guy. So, of course, I am suspicious. My curiosity was piqued… How does a cute, gainfully-employed, smart guy like this not have a chick? Does he have a tail? 12 toes? A small peen? I later discovered that he was recently (super recently) divorced, which covered that bit, but here comes the next part – Would a guy that looks good on paper like that be interested in a gal like me?
Turns out, I didn’t completely scare him off on the first night, as we ended up meeting up for drinks the following weekend. All is going fantastic, and we are heading up to his deck have wine outside because it was a nice night. I am totally thinking, “Dude, this is what normal dating is all about!” as we sit and have pleasant and witty banter with wine and stars. I go inside to use the facilities and upon returning to the deck, completely forget the one important piece of direction L had specifically told me: “Don’t shut the door to the deck. It will lock and we will get stuck up here”.
As the door slams behind me, I realize my mistake, as does L. No one else is home in the quad he lives in, and its a sheer one-story drop onto concrete below. Being such a damn great guy (and full of wine) and not wanting to allow us to die of exposure, L proceeds to climb up and over the privacy fence and drop to the ground below, slashing his hand open and breaking his wrist in the process. He trotted back up the stairs and opened the door and let my shameful ass back into safety.
I think I ruined his opinion of me that night and only sporadically text with him now. I am a genius.
Being a Dorky Damsel,