My Deeply Superficial Thoughts

I am Hot Pants McGee, and I have interesting things to say.

The Gallant Knight February 1, 2012

Filed under: Dating — TeritaBonita @ 5:10 pm
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After not seeing her for a hot minute,  Caroline randomly texted me to meet her and her beau and some friends at a bar right down the street from my house.  I was super excited to see her and meet her dude, so I met up for beers and debauchery.   Caroline has always been one to want to see me have a happy love life, and didn’t hesitate to introduce me to one of her boyfriend’s friends.   I had been lured in for a set up!!!  Those rascals.

To my surprise, the dude, L, wasn’t a complete troll – he was actually a really nice guy.   So, of course, I am suspicious.  My curiosity was piqued… How does a cute, gainfully-employed, smart guy like this not have a chick?  Does he have a tail?  12 toes?  A small peen?   I later discovered that he was recently (super recently) divorced, which covered that bit, but here comes the next part – Would a guy that looks good on paper like that be interested in a gal like me?

Turns out, I didn’t completely scare him off on the first night, as we ended up meeting up for drinks the following weekend.  All is going fantastic, and we are heading up to his deck have wine outside because it was a nice night.  I am totally thinking, “Dude, this is what normal dating is all about!” as we sit and have pleasant and witty banter with wine and stars.   I go inside to use the facilities and upon returning to the deck, completely forget the one important piece of direction L had specifically told me:  “Don’t shut the door to the deck.  It will lock and we will get stuck up here”.

As the door slams behind me, I realize my mistake, as does L.   No one else is home in the quad he lives in, and its a sheer one-story drop onto concrete below.   Being such a damn great guy (and full of wine) and not wanting to allow us to die of exposure, L proceeds to climb up and over the privacy fence and drop to the ground below, slashing his hand open and breaking his wrist in the process.   He trotted back up the stairs and opened the door and let my shameful ass back into safety.

I think I ruined his opinion of me that night and only sporadically text with him now.  I am a genius.

 

Being a Dorky Damsel,
TB

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The Secret Service Agent January 31, 2012

Filed under: Dating — TeritaBonita @ 1:10 pm
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As a rule in dating in a post-Google world, one should always namecheck the potential suitor.  You can get some effing crazies, you know?  I mean, if I have a date with Tom Smith, you can be damned sure that I am in front of my computer WAY before I am alone with Mr. Smith, using my amazingly creepy internet stalking abilities to find out exactly what homedude has been up on the interwebs.  I will know if he is a creeper or into cosplay or a Juggalo in a matter of minutes, thus saving me from a bad date or murder.

This search also serves a positive purpose, and not just a creeper one.  In googling the dude/lady, you are able to delve into their online presence and possibly discover common interests and mutual friends that you didn’t know existed.  The tricky part is introducing it into conversation without sounding like a complete fucking psycho-stalker.   Which brings me to another circus act that I recently endured…

I met this dude at a party with some girlfriends a few weeks ago, and he asked for my number.  He seemed like a cool dude, and while I wasn’t interested in him romantically,  he seemed like he might make a fun friend/drinking buddy, so I gave it to him.    He commences a text conversation with me over the next few days,  no big deal, but every time I ask his last name, he dodges the question.   This gives me a super red flag, and me and my ladies commence a serious search for this dude with no last name, to no avail.   He wanted to hang out this past weekend, and when I asked him his last name again (totally casually)  he stopped texting and calling me.  I have decided he is either on a classified mission with the CIA or is a ninja.  The world may never know.

 

Practicing my Nun-chucks,

Terita Bonita

 

Weekend Jam 1.27.12 January 27, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — TeritaBonita @ 4:32 pm

 

I can see what’s coming, but I’m not saying it…

Terita

 

Adventures in Dating Hell

Filed under: Uncategorized — TeritaBonita @ 3:44 pm
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Yes, yes… I haven’t blogged in forever, I know.  I’ve kinda been a busy bee!  Enough of the apologies, though, as I am BACK and I am going to share with you the bizarre dating events that have occurred…

After a particularly emotional setback, I have branched back out into dating, and man, let me tell you…  its pretty damn insane. Fair warning: I have a tendency to be a tad eclectic and attracted to others of that persuasion, which may lead to slightly more bizarre interactions than that of the average single lady.  Regardless, I have been told a ridiculous number of times lately that I need to share these stories with the world, so I shall…

 

Here is a snippet from this week.  Literally THIS WEEK.  I can’t make this shit up.  

 

So, after an infuriating and finally successful hunt, I manage to get this painting that I have been eyeing for months into my humble abode.  

 

Image

 

I ask MK to come over and hang it up, seeing as he is an artist and whatnot, I figured he would be the guy to do it right.  Now, there is a short, but nutso history with me and MK.  Brief fling-type thing over a year ago, and now we are friends.  So, anyway, he comes over, we have some wine and make fun of my accidently-purchased slutty platform shoes… blah blah.  

He then looks at me and says, “You are the smartest girl I know.  If you could just lose 35 pounds, I would make you my 4th wife.”

Thanks.  

 

And Not What Loves You Back….Song of the Day May 25, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — TeritaBonita @ 10:04 am
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This song is truly a lyrical work of art, and kinda sums up my life.

I’m in a weird phase right now of personal empowerment and learning that I am truly full of worth. Sounds corny, I know, but its true. I have lived my life always being second chair to someone in 95% of my relationships – family, friends, and romantic – and I am finally learning that I deserve more than that, and if it means cutting out people in my life that don’t treat me as I deserve, so be it.

It’s actually somewhat cathartic when you eliminate those who hurt you, like tweezing your eyebrows. I’m more beautiful after.

Plucking away,
TH

 

Weekend Jam 4.15.11 April 15, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized,Weekend Jams — TeritaBonita @ 10:12 am
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These kids opened for Warpaint last Friday, and are amazing. I also may or may not have a crush on spunky Mr. Electro over there. So damn animated AND talented to boot!

XO,

Teri Ann

 

Weekend Jam 4.8.11 April 8, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — TeritaBonita @ 9:49 am
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Although I am going to see Warpaint tonight at Fitzgerald’s, this is my Weekend Jam.