I know, I know… I tripped and fell and got myself into a relationship with a dude that had a celebrity name and turned out to be the biggest sociopath I’ve dated. And I have dated some real blue ribbon crazies.
So, I was preoccupied and not posting, but I am back. Like a phoenix from the ashes, I shall rise to once again, entertain my readers with the nonsense that is my life.
I still get messages on OkCupid that are flattering and batshit insane, and this one really got me laughing:
So, a buddy and I were about to go out, but we decided to goof-around online for a bit first and came across your profile. Don’t ask how the topic came up, but we got into the strangest argument as to whether or not your eyebrows were plucked or waxed (they’re nice btw). Now we have a bet going though, he thinks you only wax them, and has to shave a Tasmanian Devil if he loses, and I think though you may wax you pluck for upkeep, and I have to somehow find a way to crossbreed a panda with a koala if I lose. He’s Australian if you haven’t guessed; Oh! And he showed me this business that sells Wallaby’s as house pets. He’s trying to order one, but the problem is that it needs a real badass name and we can’t think of one! What should we call it?
Really, dude? I don’t know if this is offensive or if he is just trying too damn hard to be quirky. Points for a wallaby reference, though. They really don’t get enough recognition.