Behold! The glorious day of single awareness has passed us yet again. This year, I had a strange happening…
I am sitting at the front desk, as Barb is out on vacation, having an awesome Valentine’s Day bitchfest with Bearded Drew over Gchat, specifically regarding the annoying chick at his office that WOULD NOT SHUT UP about her dumb balloons and flowers and teddy bear fan. (PS – Who the fuck does that? A teddy bear fan? Where does one even discover such an item???) I was being extra pumped because there was only one other female in my office that day, and she and her bf don’t do flower nonsense, so I figured I would skate through this Valentine’s Day without the usual delivery giddiness and hours of sneezing from overpriced floral arrangements…. but then… Flower Dude walks in with some roses.
Of course, I assume they are for someone else, then he says my name. While pleasantly surprised, I sign for the mystery flowers, thinking they are from my mom or a girlfriend.
I open the card to see who sent them and get bitchslapped by crazy. Check out this gem of a valentine greeting:
So. Basically, someone says that I am a sinning harlot, but Jesus died for my ways, so its cool.
I blame the usual suspects, my witty friends who are well aware of my Agnosticism and who would find this to be an awesome prank… No one fesses up and takes credit.
Now shit be creepy. As of today, I am still clueless as to who sent the Jesusflowers. I am thankful that they think I am gonna be ok.
Happy belated Valentine’s Day to all,