My Fake Personal Ad July 25, 2008

So, Jana, Dave & I were having some email exchanges earlier this week regarding lame guys in bars. I have decided that if I were to post a craigslist ad for a mate, this is what it would read:

“fantastic liberal gypsy chick looking for a friend with benefits. Must send tulips once a month and bring me iced coffee in the mornings post-sleep over. Must have a working knowledge of all Simpsons episodes and enjoy Weeds on Monday nights and drunken text messaging. Glasses, trust fund, and ability to disconnect are huge pluses”

Let me know if anyone knows anyone fitting the bill… because obviosly the two cigar-smoking hotties pictured above weren’t cutting it at Shay’s the other night.

Lookin’ for Love in all the Wrong Places,
TB

Welcoming in the New Beck Album… July 9, 2008

With some old Beck.  My fave EVER.

Cold steppin’ with a fresh pack of gum,
Teri

UPDATE: Just introduced the illustrious Bryan Vaughn to this song. I think its going to be the new “Chocolate Rain” around here…

Counting Down to the Vacay July 8, 2008

 

Sooo, I just ordered this hot little blue paisley bikini online for the big trip next week.  I order bathing suits online to save my fat ass the embarrassment of the dressing room.  I have lost 8 pounds though… whether its the breakup or the stress or that fun little Zoloft pill that is supposed to get me through my drama, I don’t know, but I will totally take it.

I started a new part-time gig at The Alley Theatre last night, and its still up in the air.  I had to sit through a tedious training session with this chick that was totally ignoring the instructor 80% of the time and spending the other 20% shuffling around papers and highlighting EVERY BULLET in the document…  It was nonsense. Then, obviously not getting the oral fixation she needed from the horrifically odorous kiwi-mango-banana-dragonfruit gum she was smacking on, demanded a break.  Let me tell you a little thing about the Alley - that place locks down like Fort Knox. If you go out, you aren’t getting back in.  And certain badges only work to open certain doors at certain times of the day.  And of course, she gets locked out.  For like 30 minutes.  And keeps calling the instructors cell.  Which has a Zelda ringtone, and that was the only plus.  Long story short, we ended up having to stay there until after 9:30, which really annoyed me and I am sure annoyed Gabby.  I am not too sure about this second job business…  

Fasting for the Frio,

Terita Bonita

Friday Biscuits June 27, 2008

 

Actually, I didn’t pick up a biscuit today because #1, I am retardly broke, and #2 I have lost 7 pounds and wanna keep on losing!  I mean, I have boys to meet, yo. 

Aside from that, I really only have three things to say on this fabulous Friday…

-In Ricer news, someone upstairs from me has sex every day between 7:25 & 7:40.  Every day.  Clockwork.  When I hear the rhythmic bed-shaking, it let’s me know that its time to get on the move or I am going to be late. 

-Tricky may be the best thing to walk to work listening to.  Mainly “Christiansands”.

- A little gratuitous Bowie never hurt anyone…

Wondering how much wood a woodchuck would really chuck,

Terita Bonita

Walt Williams is a Cheating Bastard, an Open Letter June 26, 2008

Dear Walt, you worthless waste of oxygen,
You have some nerve. Alyssa is an amazing and beautiful human being (by far, the best you will ever come near) and you didn’t realize that. Seeing as she is so amazing and beautiful, its going to take her a very short amount of time to replace you with someone who actually is trustworthy and independent and mature. You should probably stay away from Texas, especially Dallas. And LA. And DC. And Oklahoma.

Wishing you the Worst,
Teri

I Sense a Trend Around Me… June 18, 2008

Sensing one of these things is not like the other,
Teri

Pasty Patty & Her Scarred Posterior & The Paperback War June 18, 2008

Hey hey hey~
So, The Man is totally bmd, which is really hampering the blogging. My weekends and evenings have lately been filled with activity (namely drinking with old friends and new) which also leaves little time for blogging. For this, I apologize, my dears. I am also tied up in a heated fight with the Quality Paperback Book Club, which takes up WAY more time than necessary. Nazis, they are. And tricky. They will not stop sending me books. Books that I do not want, did not ask for, and are accompanied by invoices! Don’t get me wrong, I filled my requirement on the book buying. I am not trying to get out of any contract or get free books… I just want the nonsense to cease.
Enough of that… though. On a side note, I am listening to NPR, and they just justified my tanning bed membership by letting me know that I am probably deficient in Vitamin D, and the sun is a perfect way to get it. Well, that and Cod Oil, but I look way hotter with a tan. I also need to keep it up due to the fact that from a recent injury that required a nice big square bandage to be posted dead in the center of my left cheek. Well, I needed to tan for a weekend trip while said bandage was there, and now I have a big white square, with a scar in the middle. If there was another one above it, I could totally pass it as a statement for equality, but as it stands, its just kinda like a subtraction sign. There will be no pictures.
For the Ricers, this article should be read and followed. You know who you are…
Ok, gotta get back to the grind,
TB

“Weeds” is back this week, too, and it looks promising! Above is me and some funny guys doing a Juno promotion

GOP Invades Houston! June 11, 2008

 

Dear Lord… Watch yourselves, my Liberal friends…  We will be invaded tomorrow by a whole slew of old white men.  I will be roaming downtown snapping pics of any Repubbies that I can.  I will also be gearing Gabs up in her Obama gear, that way they know not to mess with me. 

Read the article here

New Hair! June 11, 2008

I am loving it!

Now with short hair-

TB

Your Heart is True, You’re a Pal and a Confidante…. June 10, 2008

 

Wow.  What a traumatic freaking week I have had… Breakups, nearly dying thanks to a drunk driver, losing my watch, and impromptu 30 minute flights home - just to begin with.

Anyway, I just wanna take this opportunity to address the fantastic group of women that I surround myself with.  You know who you are, you hot hookers, you.  You have been the greatest support group/drinking buddies a girl could wish for, and you have really made this whole trying experience a bit better.   You answer your phones at all hours and let me cry (most often times, drunkenly) on your shoulders, and I love you guys more than you could ever know… And now I will go and get my cathartic hair cut, and all of you bitches better tell me how hot it is. 

 

Suddenly Single,

Terita Bonita

ps, if any of you have any other overly cute pictures, send ‘em my way!