Text Message Exchanges During Last Night’s Game June 25, 2009

Thank you, Chris Maguire. Thank you for making me laugh hysterically despite the epic fail of a game I was watching last night.

Me: You need to ramp up the Maguire Fire! What in the hell is going on?
Chris: The coals are simmering baby, About to ignite with all sorts of heat they don’t even know about.

Me: I just threatened to stab the LSU fan here. With a straight face.
Chris: Do it. Doooo it.

Me: Some old alum is next to me hitting on me. I have decided that my only response will be “Fi-yah”.
Chris: Excellent choice!

Me: Just met Paul Wall.
Chris: Sittin sideways, boys in the days.

(After the Horns downfall)
Me: Where is the Fi-yah??? What the damn????
Chris: Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Super freaking funny.

Still loving the Horns,
Terita

Above find photographic evidence of me hanging with rappers. I am so gangsta.

Snuggling Up With the Snark… May 22, 2009

Another Teri/Jaron snippet:

me: god. You are effing snarky today
Jaron: sorry
i wear it well these days
keeps me warm at night
me: like a snuggie?
Jaron: snuggling up to some snarky

Needing to snuggle,
Terita Bonita

Jaron and I May Need Significant Others… May 4, 2009

This conversation just transpired, and I thought I needed to share…

me: making out with a peanut butter cookie
Sent at 2:59 PM on Monday
Jaron: you would
cookie lover
me: yup
it was magical
Jaron: i’m making out with micrsoft terminal services client
all day long
not the best make out sessions but they’ll do
me: hmmmm
less calories
Jaron: virtually yes

Thinking Cookie Monster Better Back Off,
Teri Ann

Things I Love. April 27, 2009

 

My life has pretty much been an emotional trainwreck for the past year.  After The Great Breakup, I haphazardly have dated and either found all kinds of drama, ot just wasn’t impressed – there hasn’t really been any middle ground.  Add to that Jaron’s move this weekend, and I just have pretty much had sadface.  (Well, aside from toadstool references that have made me giggle uncontrollably – thanks, B)  Today, I decided that I needed to focus on the things I love,  which are:

 (in no particular  order):

-My family

-My friends

-Wine

-Glenlivet

-Rocketship pajamas

-Menthol cigarettes when its super cold out

-Sappy, lyrical Indie music

-My Blackberry

-My dog

-Wool socks

-Andy Warhol & Jean M. Basquiat

-Spring

-My pink and green plaid coat

-Purr Lipglass

-Hoop earrings

-Lazy afternoons in the park

-Pizza

-Buying gifts

-Tulips

-Listmaking

-Boys in glasses

-Tea

-Bubble baths

-Jazz (this goes really well with the bubble baths)

-The Girl from Ipanema

-Kashi Bars

-Rainy Days

-Horror Novels

-Mystery Science Theater 3000

-Proper Punctuation

- A good cry

-Daily emails with Jana

-Cold beers on hot days

-Wigs

-Expensive sheets

-Ginger

-LaCarafe

-The look someone gives you when they realize they love you

-Grilled cheese

-Truffles

-Anyone that can play piano

-Cider beers

-Convcersations with Kristi

-Sugar Free Cook and Serve Chocolate Pudding

- My Birthday

-Peppermint Mochas while Christmas Shopping

-A good night’s sleep

 -Waking up next to someone I love

-Fireplaces

-That feeling in my chest when I like someone

-Watching my little sister sleep

-Alone time

-Finger Dancing

-A good blog topic!

 

Above is a picture of me relishing in my hangover on Saturday!

 

Smiling at the moment,

Terita Bonita

T Minus 6 Days ’til 29!! April 23, 2009

Yeah, yeah… I have been lazy and haven’t been posting, but things get busy.
Things are never too busy for wigs and wine, though!!

Here are the snapshots from our evening…

 

Looking like I am a part of Sexual Chocolate,
Teri Ann

New Week, New Month, New Life March 30, 2009

 

 

Hello dah-lings!  Today is a super fantastic and wondrous day.  As many of you know, I have been a big lazy fat prostitute the past few months… spending my time eating pizza and boozing it up with the neighbors at the Rice.  Well, the end of an era arrived this past week – Coach Carl, the long-standing staple of our beloved pub, moved out of the building.  I have decided, along with my trusty friend Jaron, to take this opportunity to make a life change.  I mean, I am determined to get back to high school hot.  Now that there is less motivation to end my day with pints and Marlboro Lights, I will instead be ending it with a jaunt to the tanning salon and time in the gym!

My other motivation is my upcoming trips to New Orleans and my annual river trip with the fam in Garner.  Seeing as I am going to NO with a bunch of cute chicks, I need to get my arse in shape to rock some hot sundresses while pounding hand grenades and hurricanes.  And, as I am taking two Garner trips this year, I really want to get back into that super cute gingham J.Crew bikini that I am so fond of.  (It has a matching headband!!!) 

Now, here is your job, my hot and trusty readers and friends, you have to be my motivation:

- I need constant reminders that I am losing weight, even if you don’t think so. (but only if you know I am trying.  If not, feel free to call me a water buffalo) 

-Encourage fun activities outdoors and out of the bars. (This one may involve some resistance from me, but we have to be strong!)

-Offer to join me in the gym, and don’t make fun of my panting and sweating .  My sustenance this past year has really consisted solely of Blue Moon, Marlboro Lights, Miller Lite, and various wines. Its going to be an effort to get me back into shape, and it ain’t gonna be pretty.

-Still enjoy occasional celebrations involoving libations, but only at home or on the terrrace, as I am really over paying inflated prices for drinks.

 

So, friends, that is your mission, if you choose to accept it.  I am pretty darn excited about the whole endeavor.

 

Looking for some Jane Fonda workout gear,

Teri A. Gonna-be-Adorable-Again Hagen

If this is a Band, I want to Join. March 27, 2009

Dusting off my cymbals,
Teri

Friday Biscuits! March 13, 2009

Heeelllllooooo!!! Happy Friday the 13th!! Today I finally stopped at Otto’s for the first time in about 5 months for my Friday biscuit. Jeez, was it tasty, but now I feel guilty, so I won’t be eating anything but Twizzlers for the rest of the day. Well, that is until I go to Mom and Matt’s tonight for steaks! I am super stoked about eating and being lazy by the fireplace over there tonight.

Back to the Twizzler diet – I opened my desk drawer to realize that I am a hoarder of things. My desk drawer currently contains: 4 boxes of tea (4!!!), 1/8th of a bag of M&M’s from Valentine’s Day, a box of crackers, a fresh bag of Twizzlers, a 90 calorie bag of peanut butter rice cakes, two Ritz crackers in the sleeve, ketchup packets, a toothbrush, and a date stamp. At least if Armeggeddon comes, I am good for a little while. And I will have clean teeth and know what day it is.

I am also following some new kids on Twitter, which I highly recommend:
-Tina Fey
-Michael Ian Black (TOOOO FUNNY!)
-Rainn Wilson
-Jemaine Clement
-John Mayer
-The Onion
-Marshall Hill (good friend, has potential to be funny, will keep you updated on all things Longhorn. Also the go-to for a stellar NCAA bracket group)

Well, I am going to get back to the grind, kiddos.

About to get into Mail Merge Hell -
Terita Bonita

Back in the Saddle, Bitches! March 5, 2009

Due to the insane outcry and demand for my literary stylings, I have decided to get back on the blogging horse!! Sooooo much going has gone on in TeriLand. For the sake of time, I shall make a list, and its in no particular order:

1. Was laid off from Magellan
2. Dropped my Blackberry in a campground toilet
3. Gave up on love
4. Upped my nicotine intake
5. Got a microwave (this was HUGE)
6. Got a new job
7. Got a new Blackberry
8. Had more family drama than a smaller woman could handle
9. Got my own financial bail-out from my dad
10. Got my cable turned back on
11. Watched way too much MST3K
12. Was sucked into World of Warcraft
13. Became bored with World of Warcraft
14. Got back in touch with a super-fantastic friend, Ryan.
15. Threw up some gang signs with Kristi’s dad on Strongbow New Year’s at the Cauthen’s.
16. Lost an old friend.
17. Learned that Laura is having a bouncing baby boy!

So, that is life in a nutshell for right now. I promise to be back on track and posting at regular speed asap. Till then, I love you all, and quit your complaining, because TeritaBonita is back like Britney.

PS – B, you are the hotness, and I couldn’t think of a better coming back picture.

Is the media trying to make me feel sorry for Bush? November 21, 2008

 

Saint Happenin’.

Teri Ann